You gotta pick one:
- Enduring a layover at O’Hare International Airport in which you find yourself sitting on the floor near your gate, you’ve just spilled coffee on yourself, and your fellow stranded passengers include crying triplets, overserved rugby fans and a guy who has taken off his Crocs and his socks.
- Enduring “The Layover,” a movie.
Ah, not so fast! Before you choose Option B., allow me to tell you a few things about “The Layover.”
Yes, it is a movie. But just barely so.
I’d say it’s more like an excruciating, embarrassing, profoundly unfunny, poorly shot and astonishingly tone-deaf screech-fest featuring some of the least charismatic performances this side of one of those dreadful “reality” shows in which over-injected women always seem to be yelling at one another while pouring wine or throwing wine at one another.
“The Layover” is a would-be romp starring Kate Upton from “The Other Woman” and, um, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, and Alexandra Daddario from “Baywatch” and “The House,” two of the most dreadful comedies of 2017 and also of all time.
No offense, Ms. Daddario, but we can add “The Layover” to that list as well.
All right, so we know Kate Upton and Alexandra Daddario aren’t exactly Tina Fey and Amy Poehler — but nothing can prepare one for how amateurish they are in this movie. They deliver the kind of performances that would have casting directors at an open audition for a third-rate sitcom checking their phones and tapping their feet, waiting for them to stop reading so they can say, “Thank you, we’ll be in touch.”
Upton plays Meg and Daddario plays Kate.
Think about that for a second. Even the simple act of naming these characters is needlessly complicated and distracting. Every time Kate’s character says, “Kate,” we’re reminded that’s her name in real life. Why not just call Kate “Kate,” or better yet, find a name other than “Kate” to avoid this problem…