At this point, 24 years after it held its very first event, the UFC is no longer a rough-and-tumble spectacle with fighters who scrap in the hospital after their official bout and champions who shit on featured sponsors in the octagon. After being sold for $4 billion last year, the promotion has continued to try and streamline itself and smooth over its roughest edges, and even if their biggest draw is a kooky Irish madman who talks evil shit, the UFC is still trying to edge underwear fighting towards the mainstream. More money has softened the sport’s wilder personalities, but on a purely sporting level, the mixed martial arts are incredibly good right now.
There’s no better example of that than UFC 214, which takes place tomorrow in Anaheim. It’s easily the best card of the year, and probably the best since UFC 205. You likely know that the main event is the long-anticipated rivalry fight between Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier for the light heavyweight belt and the very soul of both men. It’s going to be an incredible orgy of violence, and unlike the last time they were supposed to fight, both men made weight and neither man took off-brand Cialis for their, ahem, “huge cock.”
But that’s just one of the many fights worth giving a shit about on the card! Even after the strongest man alive had his bout with John Makdessi called off, UFC 214 has a children’s treasury of intriguing fights on the card.
Tyron Woodley vs. Demian Maia (Welterweight Title Fight)
The co-main event is a strange little clash of styles. Maia is 39 years old, has fought most people worth fighting at welterweight and middleweight over the last eight years, and is one of the last true jiu-jitsu specialists remaining in the UFC. He’ll bob his head and catch dudes with the occasional combination, but his game is all…