Finding Love After Divorce
Post-divorce dating can be a rough ride, we struggle to at first find ourselves, then find anyone we even wish to go on more than one date with. In the world of endless dating options, Romeos, Lotharios, cheats, stalkers and light on truth tellers, it is a miracle we can sort through any of these to find a new life time partner.
I like many other people, after my divorced vowed never to wed again. I was fully accepting of a life of single-dom. Happy to deal with my own house repairs, go to my family functions solo suffering the endless questions of why I’m “still” single. I long ago had and still believe a happy single life is far, far more enjoyable than a lonely or unhappy married life. One look around any restaurant, at the couples bickering or engrossed in their phones on a date night, makes you value your single status.
I had internally made a never to date again vow- when I met my now fiancé, the effort exerted seemed to far outweigh the rewards on the 400 bad dates, a had endured. I was totally happy focusing on my business, and my three very lovely, yet time consuming children. Maybe in hindsight the key to finding the one- is to stop looking. Perhaps the very fact that I was totally 100% happy alone attracted to me another whole person.
I’m convinced second marriages have such high divorce rates (67%) because people firstly haven’t worked on or achieved being happy alone. They will almost settle for anyone just to not be alone. Secondly, I find people often haven’t taken the time to analyze and then work on any aspects of the first marriage’s demise that they attributed to. This will often attract the same type of person and the same dynamic which as in the first marriage result in divorce.
I knew my fiancé was the right person for me, not by giant gestures, or earth quaking signs. I knew from the first day we met, we were a perfect match. Even before meeting him in person, he had shown in a million little ways his…